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Spent Jokes

Italy Puns
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
Cherry Puns
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Funny Parenting Quotes
"Motherhood – when 90% of your time is spent putting other people’s crap away." — Anonymous
Table Puns
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Deer Puns
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Food Quotes
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
Poop Puns
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Holiday Puns
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
Monster Puns
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

- Sigmund Freud
Zombie Puns
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Quotes
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
Will Rogers
Easter Pick Up Lines
Are you teh Easter Bunny? Because you’ve spent the entire day hopping around in my head.