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Seen Jokes

Tableware Puns
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
Food Poems
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Classic Pick Up Lines
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
Funny Animal Quotes
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”

- John Steinbeck.
Garden Quotes
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
Meat Puns
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Frankenstein Puns
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Space Pick Up Lines
I’ve never seen stars as beautiful as your eyes.
Language Pick Up Lines
Have you seen any linking verbs around here? Because you are my complement and I want to connect.
Cherry Puns
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Onion Puns
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Friendship Quotes
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
Funny Marriage Quotes
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire