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Next Jokes

Space Pick Up Lines
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Friendship Quotes
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'”
— Groucho Marx
Orange Puns
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Funny Work Quotes
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Bury me next to a straight man."
Meat Puns
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Yard Puns
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I'm stumped!
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"Standing next to you makes me feel better about myself."
- 30 Rock
“I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
- Will Smith, Hitch (2005)
Garden Puns
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
Funny Animal Quotes
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Can I be your next varietal?
Peach Puns
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.