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Mr Jokes

Utensils Puns
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
Please Mr.Postman deliver to my heart.
Family Puns
It’s going to be awkward if Mr. and Mrs. Burr...
ever lose their son Tim in a forest.
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
Carolime
There once was a family, the Bigger’s.
There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
Mushroom Puns
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Peach Puns
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
Medieval Puns
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Onion Puns
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Phone Puns
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Wifi Puns
Free Wifi!

Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Marriage Puns
Why did Mr. and Mrs. Barnacle go to couples' counselling?
Because their marriage was the rocks.
History Puns
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Beaver Puns
Knock Knock!

Who is there?

Water.

Water who?

Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?