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Leaves Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early"
Funny Work Quotes
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
Garden Puns
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Phone Puns
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Toilet Paper Puns
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Movie Pick Up Lines
Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair?
Pig Puns
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Buttons
“I’m totally ‘that dad’ who leaves a note in my son’s lunch box. One day I’ll actually start putting food in there also.”

- Steve Ryan.
Flower Pick Up Lines
I would hate to see you go, but I love watching your leaves.
Irish Puns
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Peach Puns
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
Grass Puns
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Hiking Pick Up Lines
You’re so beautiful even the leaves fall for you.