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James Jokes

Mother Puns
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
Shower Puns
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Food Quotes
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
Hair Puns
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Garden Quotes
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
Whale Puns
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Toilet Puns
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Bed Puns
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Ocean Puns
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”

- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

- James Baldwin.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”

- James Rollins.
Funny Money Quotes
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran