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French Jokes

Ghoul Puns
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Irish Puns
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
What Separates Man From Animal?
A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Brit are debating philosophy. The question arises: what separates man from the animals? "Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts." "I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience." "I say it's art," claims the Frenchman. "No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to experience deep emotion when viewing a beautiful piece of art." The Brit sits quietly sipping his tea. After several minutes the annoyed Frenchman says, "Well, what about you, limey? What do you think separates man from the animals?" And the Brit says, "The English Channel."
The European Afterlife
European Heaven is where: All the cops are British, All the wine is French, All the cars are German, All the lovers are Italian, The weather is Greek, And everything is organized by the Swiss. European Hell is where: All the cops are French, All the wine is German, All the cars are Greek, All the lovers are Swiss, The weather is British, And everything is organized by the Italians.
Strawberry Puns
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Onion Puns
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I have just returned from a children’s party. I’m one of the survivors.”

- Percy French.
Cherry Puns
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
Family Puns
I made my mother's French sister angry
Now she's a cross aunt.
Crow Puns
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Monster Puns
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are standing in a museum looking at a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden. The three stare at it intently. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the British man. "They must be British." The three of them ponder this possibility for a moment before the Frenchman and the Russian shake their heads in disagreement. "Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked and so beautiful, enjoying the best of life. Clearly they are French.". The Brit and Russian agree on this point, but after a moment the Russian shakes his head again. "No clothes, no shelter..." He muses. "Also, they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian!"
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you French? I want to take a french kiss from you.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Hey girl, are you a faulty French press because I’d like to be burned by you and recall you afterward.
The Polish Sausage
Man walks up to the employee and says "Yeah, I would like uhhh...hhmm....the Polish sausage." The employee kind of chuckles and says "Polish sausage, you must be Polish?" The man gets immediately angry and yells "HEY, just cause I ordered a polish sausage don't make me Polish! if I ordered drench fries does that make me drench, if I order Swedish meatballs does that make me Swedish, if I ordered a Cuban sandwich does that make me Cuban? give me one good reason you have the right to think I'm Polish cause I ordered a polish sausage, cause I'm not Polish!!" The employee sighs: "Sir, this is a hardware store."
Orange Puns
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French