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Feeling Jokes

Meat Puns
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
Food Poems
An oyster from Kalamazoo
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, "As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew."
4th of July Pick Up Lines
Are you the 4th of July? 'Cause I'm feeling fireworks between us.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
When I see you I get a Dirty, Dirty Feeling so Don't Be Cruel and be my Earth Angel
Funny Work Quotes
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
Garden Quotes
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
Peach Puns
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Orange Puns
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
Food Quotes
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Onion Puns
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
Are you wi-fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.
Funny Health Quotes
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare