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Choose Jokes

Funny Birthday Poems
What is age, but something to count?
Some people fight it, like climbing a mount.
I choose to live, with dignity and grace,
And offer a drink, to all in this place.

(Julie Hebert)
Funny Aging Quotes
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
Bomb Puns
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
Pumpkin Puns
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Funny Work Quotes
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

- Phyllis Diller.
Onion Puns
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Cosmetics Puns
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Travel Pick Up Lines
Girl, are you a train? Because I choo choo choose you.
Jokes For Women
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
Flamingo Puns
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Family Puns
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
Boat Puns
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
Friendship Quotes
“I don’t have a lot of friends but I have the best friends because I choose quality over quantity.”
— Unknown
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown