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Bond Jokes

Salt Puns
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
Shower Puns
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Toilet Puns
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Mother Puns
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
Funny Marriage Quotes
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Anonymous
“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash
Bed Puns
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Whale Puns
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Viking Puns
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Hair Puns
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Water Puns
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
I wish I was an ion, so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
How about we go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
Ocean Puns
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.