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Blame Jokes

Food Quotes
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”—Janet Periat
Dad Puns
My dad didn’t love me as a child, but I don’t really blame him.
I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
Funny Poems
They do it without realizing,
They don't really have a clue,
Reading between the lines,
Is something they just can't do.

When there is an argument,
They think they're always right,
No matter what we say or do,
They didn't start the fight.

They blame it on our hormones,
And never take the rap,
If they call us moody bitches,
Then they get a slap.

(By Jessica Miles)
Mouth Puns
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
Book Puns
A book fell on my head. I can only blame my shelf.
Volleyball Puns
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Funny Animal Quotes
“I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there’s plenty of blame to go around.”

- John Lyon.
Weather Puns
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Keyboard Puns
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
We can blame it on fajita the moment.
Head Puns
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Closet Puns
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.