Ate Jokes

“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”

- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
There once was a girl named Sam
Who did not eat roast beef and ham
She ate a green apple
Then drank some Snapple
Some say she eats like a lamb.
A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins.
One day after tea
He ate ninety three
And pickled his internal workings.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?

Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.