Jokes > Tags > Ask Jokes

Ask Jokes

Language Pick Up Lines
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
Peach Puns
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Garden Puns
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
Funny Aging Quotes
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
Gnome Puns
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didn’t have the guts
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook."
Tableware Puns
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
Nuts Puns
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Pea Puns
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Movie Pick Up Lines
I would ask for Netflix and Chill, but you look like you are into more interactive stories.
4th of July Pick Up Lines
If you ask me if I love you I'll have to plead the 5th. Don't want to incriminate myself.