Jokes > Tags > Actually Jokes

Actually Jokes

Funny Health Quotes
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
Funny Work Quotes
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
Frankenstein Puns
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Family Puns
Did you know Father Time is actually really good at boxing?
Yeah, he can clock you a good one.
Funny Aging Quotes
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’m totally ‘that dad’ who leaves a note in my son’s lunch box. One day I’ll actually start putting food in there also.”

- Steve Ryan.
Monster Puns
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Canadian Pick Up Lines
I'm actually way hotter than poutin.
Food Poems
Roses are red, I’m not wearing a suit,
Carrots are not vegetables, they are actually fruit.
Cherry Puns
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I actually prefer that life give me lemons so that I can make a pretty lady like you some lemonade on a hot Summer's day.
Did you ever notice that supermarket music is actually ideal for slow dancing with strangers?