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udder Jokes

udder Jokes and more.
Couch Puns
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
Bathroom Puns
Why did the cows have towels? To keep each udder dry.
The Milking Machine
A farmer ordered a hi-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the switch, and everything else was automatic. Soon, he found that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service hot line with his cell phone (thank God for cell phones!). "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry," replied the customer service rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons. Have a nice day!"
Love Puns
You’re udder-ly perfect.
Why Did Others Cross the Road? One Liners
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Fly Puns
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
Irish Puns
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
Cow Puns
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Milk Puns
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Rain Puns
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?

To keep each udder dry.
Wind Puns
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Spouse Puns
What does a cow call their spouse?
Significant udder.
Nuts Puns
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.