A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!