Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.