Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!