Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.