A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.