How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.