Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.