Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.