Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.