Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!