What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.