Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.