It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.