What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.