2. Individuals who are covert narcissists or "vulnerable" tend to harbor emotions of inadequacy, hollowness, poor self-regard, and disgrace. These sentiments lead them to avoid social gatherings where they believe they will not receive the recognition they are entitled to. They also avoid those that put them embarrassed. Such individuals tend to mask the sensation of superiority that occasionally surfaces inside them (the feeling of "grandiosity") under the guise of bashfulness and sensitivity. However, deep inside, they want to control and subjugate the person in front of them. Their actual emotions are concealed behind their behavior, which is the "hidden" factor.
If you expect to encounter a narcissistic person in your life, such as your boss or family member, it is recommended to deal with the grandiose type as they can be more focused on goals. Dealing with the vulnerable type can be challenging and requires patience and restraint, which will be explained in the following sections. It is critical to understand the root of their behavior.
When a narcissist is vulnerable, he seeks ways to boost his self-esteem. In some instances, he may undermine your authority in front of others, deriving pleasure and satisfaction from such actions. This behavior can be detrimental, leading to embarrassment or even ruining others' reputations, including you. To deal with such behavior, it is essential to recognize the root cause, which is often insecurity. Responding with maturity and offering validation can help provide the narcissist with the security he craves. However, one should be cautious not to overdo it and trigger hidden grandiose personality traits.
Narcissism is not an "all or nothing" trait - sometimes, we will not recognize that the person standing in front of us is a narcissist until we encounter him in a certain situation that will "bring out" this characteristic in him. Imagine a situation in which a woman works for a certain company and longs for a long time to receive a promotion. She suddenly discovers that the person who received a promotion at her expense is actually her best friend on the team. Now, the disappointed woman is forced to work with her friend who has become her manager. This can lead to defensive, vindictive, and irritating behavior that interferes with the normal flow of work and the general atmosphere.
If you recognize such situations, it is imperative to remember that this is the result of certain circumstances that actually formed the catalyst for bringing out the "monster," and that there is nothing personal against you here. In such situations, we advise you to remember that not everything is under your control. Things can also be resolved with a positive and honest conversation face to face.
In case you come across an individual who fits into any of the aforementioned subcategories, it may seem like the simplest solution to lose your temper and become fixated on your aspirations in life, leading to anxiety, desire for retaliation, or thoughts about the narcissist. Nonetheless, as discussed in the preceding section, it is not necessary to react to every instance of defiance or malicious remark uttered by this person, no matter how extreme. You have to strike a balance between advancing in your personal and professional life and responding to the narcissist's comments and actions. This only emboldens them and fuels their behavior. We do not anticipate that you will overlook the situation entirely, as we are all human beings and not machines that can act devoid of emotion. However, we urge you to contemplate the eventual outcome, which has numerous implications for your individual life.
