Zero Jokes

What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truvia™ star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
May you be granted no memory,
Of the people you wished took a hike,
May your luck hold out for decades,
Bringing you only the folks you like.

May your eyes never fail you,
When you need to tell the difference,
May your walker go from zero to 60,
So you could stay at a safe distance.

(Kevin Nishmas)
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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