Yards Jokes

I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
Forgive This Mouth of Mine A Catholic man goes to confession. "Forgive me father for I have sinned." He begins. "Go on my son." says the priest. "I swore the other day, in the most profane way." says the man. "Continue." says the priest. "I was on the golf course and I hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway." "And this is when you swore?" asked the priest. "No father, my ball then ricocheted of the power lines and flew off into the deep rough." said the man. "Ah, so this must have been when you swore." Said the priest. "No father, not yet. As I was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it." continued the man. "Ahhh I see." says the priest "This MUST have been the point where you swore." "You'd thinks so but no, because as the bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed just two feet from the hole." They both remain quiet for a few seconds, then the priest says: "You missed the f**in' putt, didn't you?"
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
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