Tied

An elephant slept in his bunk,
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.
But he snored -- how he snored!
All the other beasts roared,
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
I'm so good at being interrogated.
I can do it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.”

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?”

The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”
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