Thought Jokes

My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
I thought this was a bar, but I must be in a museum because you’re a piece of art.
One night I looked up at the stars and thought, ‘Wow, how beautiful.’ But now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
I saw you on Spotify so thought to text you. You were in the hottest singles this week.
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
You're such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark at night.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
I’ve always thought that heck is the only thing hotter than the sun but that has all changed today.
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