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Think

One Liners and Short Jokes
My wife said to me, if you don't get off of the computer and help with the housework, she will bash my head on the keyboard.
But I think she's JokiSDGF4s475241GHHHNM,GDSSSDFSDFSDFADGHKLL;/UYRT5555rrTTTTTTEEEECbbbbbbbbII003333454587111,KSDFUJYTFD3u8ol;b ki90l.YJNMLGDSFSDASEDRUKOML'M :][EYRTYB;JIOI#M#KYFU6DCK ;/[]/
Clever Jokes
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Fruit Puns
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
Train Puns
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Corona Virus Jokes
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."

People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Diving Puns
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Vegetable Puns
I think therefore I yam.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Mango Puns
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Quotes
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
Dalai Lama
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
Dolphin Puns
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Zebra Puns
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
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