Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toucan who?
Toucan play at that game!
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.

Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.

Child: Yea...

Dad: Then why is there only one?
Whale, hello there.
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."
What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.
Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."
How does Robin Hood get from here to there?
In an “arrow plane.”
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”