There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."
What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.
Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."