Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and se* education on the same day in the Middle East? They don't want to wear out the camel.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
Bill Murray
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.