Someone

Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Apparently you can get the Corona virus if your eye touches someone else's eye.
I guess it's a good thing I refuse to make eye contact.
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
Ann Landers
“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”
Cullen Hightower
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Someone just stole some grass from my garden.
Strange I know, thought robbers stuck to their own turf.
What do you call someone who only eats tiny bits of other people?
A cannibble.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.