Shelf Jokes

When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I have a high shelf in my kitchen to store meat. It’s safe to say...
The steaks are high.
My wife asked, “Honey, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
I don’t have a controller,
And I don’t have a screen,
I don’t need to be plugged in,
I’m not grey and green.
I can’t make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can’t put me on a shelf,
Because I’m not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can’t insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.
(Sarah Allen)
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
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