Scottish Jokes

What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
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