Scottish Jokes

I canโ€™t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that sheโ€™s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

โ€œAhaโ€, says the engineer, โ€œI see that Scottish sheep are black.โ€

โ€œHmmโ€, says the physicist, โ€œYou mean that some Scottish sheep are blackโ€.

โ€œNoโ€, says the mathematician, โ€œAll we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!โ€
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