Portuguese Jokes

Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
A Long-Living Family A Portuguese man goes to the doctor. After the test results come in, the doctor says:"Mr. Silva, you’re in very good shape for a 50-year-old." "And who said I’m 50?" "How old are you?" "I just turned 67 in March." "No way! And how old was your father when he died?" "And who said my father died?" "Oh, sorry. How old is your father?" "The old man is 88." "88?! That’s great! And how old was your grandfather when he died?" "And who said he died?" "I’m sorry. How old is he?" "107, and he still rides a bicycle." "That’s wonderful! And your great-grandfather? What did he die of?" "And who said he died? He’s 124 and he’s getting married next week." "Now that’s too much!" Says the doctor, annoyed. "Why would a 124-year-old man want to get married?" "He didn’t want to… but he got the girl pregnant."
A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. African, Zambian, Ethiopian, Bosnian, Nigerian, Angolan, Botswanian, Tanzanian, Saudi Arabian, Kuwaiti, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistanian, Mongolian, Indian, Burman, Chinese, Cambodian, Laotian, Somalian, Yemen, Syrian, Israeli, Armenian, Philipino, Javan, Australian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Georgian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Dominican Republican, Aruban, Jamacian, Cuban, Haitian, El Salvadorian, Guatamalan, Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Panamanian, American, Canadian, Mexican, Argentinian, Bolivian, Peruvian, Columbian, Brazilian, Ecuadorian and a Venezuelan walk into a bar.


The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry. I cannot serve you without a Thai."
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
You must be Portuguese because I could Lisbon to that accent all night long.
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