Pa Jokes

I like dad jokes but I donโ€™t have any kids. I guess that makes me a faux pa.
There was a young lady of Cork,
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
He bought for his daughter,
A tutor who taught her,
To balance green peas on her fork.
Ignore your mother's bad joke, son...
It's a faux pa.
The Outhouse Problem Ma and Pa were two old folks living out on a farm up in the hills last century. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesnโ€™t know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, โ€œWhy donโ€™t you go ask the youngโ€™n down the road? He must be smart โ€™cause heโ€™s a college gradjyate.โ€ So Pa drives down to the neighborโ€™s house and asks him, โ€œMr. College grajute, my outhouse hole is full, and I donโ€™t know what to do to empty it.โ€ The youngโ€™n tells him, โ€œGet yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While itโ€™s in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole.โ€ Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree. All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole. Pa races to the outhouse throws open the door and asks, โ€œMa, are you all right?โ€ As she pulls up her panties she says, โ€œYeah, but Iโ€™m sure glad I didnโ€™t fart in the kitchen!โ€
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