Jokes > Tags > Out


What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers.
The Times are rough.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night:
I'm not letting you out.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
I used to have wavy hair... Turns out it was waving goodbye.
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.