Jokes > Tags > Out


Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
I used to have wavy hair... Turns out it was waving goodbye.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers.
The Times are rough.
To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night:
I'm not letting you out.
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.