Martin Jokes

"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
“I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant”.

- Dean Martin.
“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”

- Martin Mull.
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