Maker Jokes

I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
My Grandad always said, “As one door closes, another one opens.”
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
What did the German clock maker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"?
Ve haf vays to make you tock...
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What do you call a French leather coat maker...?
Jim Lapel.
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