Lifetime Jokes

"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
My grandfather has the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Ham and Eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
I only wanted a week's supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
"The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money."
— Mark Twain
Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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