Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag? Benedict Arnold Palmer
The $50 Lemonade Stand
A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade
“Hey mister, ya want some lemonade?” a little girl calls to him.
The stockbroker is just getting out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit. He was about to walk past when he a double take at the sign that says “Lemonade $50”.
“Your sign is wrong kid. I think you mean fifty cents.”
The little girl shakes her head. “Nope, fifty bucks mister. I need the money for Space Camp!”
The stockbroker pause for a minute, because he appreciates a good hustle but clearly this kid is going about it the wrong way. “Look sweetie, I know you’re trying to make money but you have to charge what people are willing to pay. No one is going to pay that much for a tiny cup of lemonade. Now what do you think is a fair price?”
The little girl beams and says “Fifty bucks mister!”
The stockbroker gives a little sigh and shakes his head. “Okay I’m gonna pass. You see? You can’t make a profit when no one pay your price. Now do you have anything else for sale?”
“Homemade brownies, 50 cents!”
The stockbroker winces in frustration. “OK look, I studied economics at Harvard and I got my MBA from Wharton so I’m going to teach you a little about business, okay? Now each of your little cups of lemonade probably costs you about fifty cents including the margin cost of your stand.” He takes out a dollar. “I’ll pay you ten times that much because I want to help you understand about markup.”
The little girl shakes her head and smiles. “No thanks, mister. Fifty bucks please!”
“You know what? I give up. Take this dollar and I’m going to buy two of your brownies, I know you’re losing money on them, and I’m not going to buy a single cup of your overpriced lemonade. I’m trying to be nice and teach you about business but I guess this is the only way for you to learn a lesson.”
“Okay!” The girl takes the dollar and puts ten brownies on a plate.
Just to make the point, the stockbroker decides to eat one of the brownies right in front of her. Suddenly he begins coughing and gagging uncontrollably. “Oh my God…what is…what did you put in these?”
She grins happily and says “It’s my special recipe! Eggs, flour, butter, cocoa, sawdust and goat pellets!”
“This is horrible! I have to get this taste out of my mouth!”
The little girl takes out a jar full of $50 bills, cocks her head to the side and says through a beaming grin, “Ya want some lemonade?”
There was a young lady of Lynn, Who was so excessively thin. That when she assayed, To drink lemonade, She slipped through the straw and fell in.
Feeling Like a Baby
Two old guys from a senior center were sipping lemonade on the porch when one asks the other:
“Ralph, I’m 92 years old and even my aches have pains.
You must be close to my age. How are you feeling?”
Ralph says, “Like a brand new baby.”
“No kidding! Like a brand new baby?”
“Yep. No teeth, no hair, and wet diapers.”