You're old enough to know, my son, It's really awfully rude If someone speaks when both his cheeks Are jammed and crammed with food. Your mother asked you how you liked the onions in the stew. You stuffed your mouth with raisin bread And mumbled, "Vewee goo."
Then when she asked you what you said, You took a drink of milk, And all that we could understand Was, "Uggle gluggle skwilk."
And now you're asking me if you Can have more lemon Jell-O. Please listen carefully, "Yes, ifoo Arstilla ungwy fello."
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.
Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
Tinkle, Tinkle little car How I wonder what you are. Leaking oil every day Having it your own way. Going up hills real slow I don’t want you any mo’. Tinkle, Tinkle little car Boy, what a lemon you are. (Cecilia L. Goodbody)