Leaf Jokes

Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
I’ll never leaf you.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Leaf me alone.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Bark bark bark
Let me get up to see
It appears my dog is summoning me
Bark Bark Bark
That old familiar sound
As I peer out the window
With my loud mouthed hound
Bark Bark Bark
Looking in the distance I finally see
Why she’s been barking at me
Bark Bark Bark
There’s a leaf in the yard
And it’s blowing away
This is how we’ll spend
Most of our day
"I am a leaf on the wind... in bed."
- Firefly
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Darling, I never want you to leaf me.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truvia™ star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
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