Leaf Jokes

What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesnโ€™t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
"I am a leaf on the wind... in bed."
- Firefly
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truviaโ„ข star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
Letโ€™s take a leaf of faith.
Iโ€™ll never leaf you.
My leaf blower doesnโ€™t work. It just sucks!
Leaf me alone.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Darling, I never want you to leaf me.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Bark bark bark
Let me get up to see
It appears my dog is summoning me
Bark Bark Bark
That old familiar sound
As I peer out the window
With my loud mouthed hound
Bark Bark Bark
Looking in the distance I finally see
Why sheโ€™s been barking at me
Bark Bark Bark
Thereโ€™s a leaf in the yard
And itโ€™s blowing away
This is how weโ€™ll spend
Most of our day
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
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