Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truvia™ star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Darling, I never want you to leaf me.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
I’ll never leaf you.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Leaf me alone.
Bark bark bark
Let me get up to see
It appears my dog is summoning me
Bark Bark Bark
That old familiar sound
As I peer out the window
With my loud mouthed hound
Bark Bark Bark
Looking in the distance I finally see
Why she’s been barking at me
Bark Bark Bark
There’s a leaf in the yard
And it’s blowing away
This is how we’ll spend
Most of our day
"I am a leaf on the wind... in bed."
- Firefly
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
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