"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." āMickey Mantle
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