Going Jokes

Hey girl, I’m not just going to show you the world, I’ll show you the universe.
Are you going to a beauty contest? Because you are looking damn beautiful.
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
I decided to add a water fixture to my backyard...
... it's going well
I'm going to have to get a security guard because you're trying to steal my heart.
I'm going to start watching my caffeine intake because baby you make my heart palpitate.
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!"
- Steven Wright
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I'm just going to say it: I'm Wilde about you.
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