Glue

How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Roses are red
Violets are blue
What I thought was vaseline
Turned out to be glue!
I'm papering walls in the loo,
And quite frankly I haven't a clue.
For the pattern's all wrong,
Or the paper's too long,
And I'm stuck to the toilet with glue.
There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
From his horse had a terrible fall;
But, though split quite in two,
By some very strong glue,
They mended that Man of Nepaul.
If ice cream could be grown on the tree top,
Tiny tummies would be liking it lots.
Any fruit flavour
For all to savour.
Do stop by at the ice cream tree shop.

If only the trees could grow lollipops
With a sharp tangy taste of lemon drops.
Lolly licky-lick
With a zingy twist.
Come along with a skip and a hop.

If chocolate heaven grew on tree leaf,
Bountiful, tempting, delicious to eat,
A smooth, silky, treat
In a chocy feast.
If only they weren't so out of reach.

If bubblegum grew upon trees that blew
Bubbles in the air, to catch and to chew.
Be nimble, be quick;
Remember the trick.
Don't swallow, because gum sticks like glue.

All are welcome at the Candy Tree Shops.
Feast your eyes on all the goodies they've got.
There are enough treats
For all down the streets,
So come and join the jiggery-jog.

(By Beryl L Edmonds)
There once was a hooker named Sue,
Who filled her va**na with glue.
When they paid to get in,
She said with a grin,
You must pay to get out of it too!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
You must be glue because I am sticking with you.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.