Flower

What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.

What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Hue and the Friars
Hue and the Friars The church in my town fell on hard times recently. There wasn't hardly enough money coming in to keep the lights on. So, with the approval of the priests, the friars began selling flowers from the Church's magnificent garden. They were a hit, and soon the flower money was rolling in in droves. A few days after they start, however, Tony, the local florist comes to the church in a huff. "Please," he begs of the friars, "you must stop selling flowers! Everyone wants to buy flowers from the men of God, so nobody comes to my business! I'll be ruined if you keep this up." "We're sorry," the friars tell him, "but the doors of Hod's temple must remain open, and for that we need money." Tony leaves the church, even more upset. He goes to his neighbors asking if they'll help him boycott, but they're all too afraid to speak out. lawyer, seeing if he can solve this legally, but the lawyer won't dare try and sue the church. He even goed to the governor, but he gets told Church isn't doing anything wrong. The week rolls by, and the Friars grow more successful as Tony gets closer to broke. Finally, in desperation, he hires the meanest, baddest, most nasty man in town, Hue, and sends him after the Friars. Hue scares all the firars, smashes all their tables, rips up the garden beds, and even pisses all over the remaining flowers. The next day, the Friars are no longer selling flowers, and Tony is back in business. In the end, it seems the saying is true: Hue and only Hue can prevent florist friars.