Correct Jokes

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Correct punctuation: the difference between a sentence that’s well-written and a sentence that’s, well, written.
Walk by a girl and say "Are you looking at me? And if she says no say "Damn!" You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
April Fools Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
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