Correct Jokes

What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess youโ€™re Sprite
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
Walk by a girl and say "Are you looking at me? And if she says no say "Damn!" You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
April Fools Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
Correct punctuation: the difference between a sentence thatโ€™s well-written and a sentence thatโ€™s, well, written.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer โ€œSmokingโ€ or โ€œNon-smokingโ€.
Apparently the correct terms are โ€œCremationโ€ and โ€œBurialโ€.
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