Correct Jokes

What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
April Fools Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
Walk by a girl and say "Are you looking at me? And if she says no say "Damn!" You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
Correct punctuation: the difference between a sentence that’s well-written and a sentence that’s, well, written.
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