Committed Jokes

“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed.”

- 'Eat Pray Love'.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What’s the best way to find a truly committed man?
Visit the closest mental hospital.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple. -- Thomas Paine
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
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