Candy Jokes

You must be a Candy bar because you appease me.
Even the Chocolate factory doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
You're like my favorite candy bar, half sweet, half nuts.
I'm no sandman, but I can take you to cotton candy land.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just struggling to contain your excite-mint?
Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
If life is like a box of chocolates,
is it rude to ask for candy?
Can you really say with certainty
that you even understand me?

When life hands you lemons
I think you'd better run.
Cause life can throw a curve ball
and hit you just for fun.

I can do without the chocolates
You can keep your lemons too.
Life is what you make of it
not what it makes of you.

(Sarina McConnell)
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Baby, I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
I don’t want your candy, what I really want is your number.
Hey, Are you made of candy? Because you look sooo sweet!
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