Bottle

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her of her feet.
A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”.
The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking?”

Wife: “This is me, talking to the wine”.
What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator? Two flies in a bottle.
Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle? Because his wife died.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.