Bob Jokes

I wanna bob for your apples.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
Hey Steve, do you shower after sex?
Well yes Bob, I do.
Great, can you please get laid more often?
Bob Monkhouse

“It’s been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.”
Bob Hope
I have Alzheimer’s bulimia – first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke.
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."

"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.

"Because its always jammin"
I wanna bob for your apples.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? Bob.
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