Attitude Jokes

Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesnโ€™t give a dam.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta phase.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I donโ€™t care what is on your plate;
I donโ€™t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, itโ€™s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

โ€œYou want to taste my fish?โ€ Iโ€™m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answerโ€™s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
โ€œYour fries look really good!โ€ They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

Iโ€™m sorry if that is the case โ€“
Dessert Iโ€™ll split just fine;
But when the mealโ€™s delivered โ€“
You eat yours and Iโ€™ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
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